Blog Title: Composing an Emotional Scene
When I touched my object, it took me back to the morning of September 7, 1992. I remember lying in bed feeling the warmth of my brother Kenzie skin against mine, giving me comfort and keeping me warm as if he was my very own personal heating blanket. The sun light gave an eerie orange hue that made the living room look hazy and surreal. Before my brain could send a signal to my body to stretch, Kenzie threw the blanket off him frantically and dashed towards my mother who was sitting to the left of us on the couch. Mom! Mom! Kenzie shouted, but it was the sheer panic and distress that I heard in his voice that drew a type of sacredness that my body freeze. My breaths were short and fast, the darkness from the that blanket Kenzie threw on me only seem to enhance the state I was in. My hands shaking as can feel almost each thread in the rigid blanket as I quickly pulled them off my face. To my surprise Kenzie was sitting on the lifeless body of who use to be my Mom’s lap, slapping her, screaming wake up, wake up, please wake up! Kenzie turned to me with eyes as red as blood with tears running down his mournful face, in the most pitiful way saying, “close your eyes.”. I felt the pain in the corners of my eyes as the tears started to form giving me a blurred vision, making it impossible to see the hands that used to caress my cheeks every morning to wake me up, cook family meals, help me write my name, tie my shoes, wash me, grab me and pull close when I was afraid, and comfort me lay lifeless. COVER YOUR EYES! Everything went black. Screams of OH MY GOD, LORD NO, FUCK, GET HELP, CALL THE AMBULANCE, GET THE KIDS seemed to come from every direction. Sitting in the middle of the pull-out bed putting so much pressure on my eyes to cover them I can start to feel a light pulse, bump, bump, bump. I was almost in a trance like state. For a moment it became quiet, as if I was in a dark room all alone with no way for sound and light to enter. Suddenly a grip that was aggressive and strong reached under my underarms lifted and pulled me fast that when my feet scrapped the side of the wall it left a brush burn on the of it. Not knowing who was holding me, I wrapped my arms around their neck and buried my face deep into their shoulders it was almost impossible for me to breathe. My body bounced a few times before I noticed we were outside. The arms that held me tightly swung from side to side and I could hear their heart beat. The heart beat was so clear so loud you could almost hear the blood pumping through it. The security from this embrace gave me a sense of calmness, but in the same breath worry. Finding the courage to lift my head up I see the front door wide open with people running in and across the living room in a frantic and petrified state. The orange hue was even brighter outside. It seem to zoom in on the screen door making it look the house had no windows, walls, steps or foundation. Just a door.
1 Comment
Dominique Alexander
3/26/2019 12:40:55 pm
Hi Kenya, This blog sent me through so many emotions. It was so detailed and you even have some use of symbolism when you spoke about the blanket and it representing darkness. This was a very good read. Thank you for sharing such a personal story and sorry for your loss.
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Kenya McDuffie
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